However, after the "Fat Guy, Little Bike" post, I've decided that I'll take one for the team in the name of humor.
I've often had a few unfortunate events coincide with each other, creating a 'Bad Day'. A couple of years back, I had enough unfortunate events collide to make it a Very Bad Day. I was home from work with a sinus infection. I felt like someone had put my head in a vise and clamped it there.
Sinus infections seem to be common for my wife and I, and our doctor always prescribes the same thing: a nasal lavage, or as he calls it -'the nose hose'. This involves mixing a bit of baking soda, salt, and some warm water in a cup, and using it with a syringe (without the needle) to rinse out your sinuses. Our doctor recommends doing this while taking a warm shower because the steam & warm water loosens things up, and because it is so messy. We even have a specific plastic cup that is often used to prepare the mixture.
On this particular day, I had started to feel better in the late morning. I felt like if I took a good shower, & got my sinuses cleared, I could still go into work for a half day. When I went to prepare the solution,the usual cup was dirty. In fact, all of our plastic cups were dirty. Instead I grabbed a small porcelain mug, and prepared the solution as usual. I should have sensed danger at this point, but I was blissfully unaware of the peril I was in.
I proceeded to the bathroom, where I disrobed and began my shower. The first unfortunate event came as I was finishing 'the nose hose', the porcelain cup slipped and dropped to the bathtub floor, immediately pulverizing on contact. I bent over to pick up the pieces, and the very first piece I grabbed sliced a large part of my finger open. Being covered in baking soda and salt, it burned very badly. I gingerly got out of the shower, bandaged my finger, and cleaned all the shards of the cup from the bathtub.
At this point, I've been out of the shower for 5 minutes, and of course I didn't dry off, so I am standing there freezing, wet, and naked. I get right back into the shower and enjoy the warm water.
It now becomes necessary for you, dear reader, to understand how my bathroom is arranged so you can properly visualize the events as they took place. Here is a masterpiece of art, created entirely with MS Paint, showing the layout of my bathroom:
I continued about my business, when tragedy struck. I was facing the soap dish mounted on the wall, bent over washing my feet. I washed my left foot, and then while standing on that left foot, I washed my right foot. While in this awkward position, bent over holding my right foot in the air washing it, balancing on my left foot, some of the soap worked its way under my left foot. My left foot slipped forward, smashing against the side of the tub. I began falling backward, right through the shower curtain, striking the toilet before landing on the floor with a crash. As I was hitting the floor, my left foot shot upwards with the leverage of my legs hitting the other side of the tub, with the tub wall being the fulcrum launching my left foot into the soap dish mounted on the far wall.
It all happened so fast that before I knew it, my body was laying on top of the shower curtain, which had been ripped from the wall & was laying on the floor, with my legs still in the tub, and water cascading all over the place. The list of my injuries now included a sliced open finger, a bruise all across the left side of my back from smashing into the toilet, a bump on the back of my head from hitting the floor, and what feels like a broken toe from my foot hitting the soap dish, all in addition to the splitting headache which had returned from the sinus infection which had kept me home in the first place.
I decided that it was safer for all of humanity if I just stayed home the rest of the day...
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