Thursday, May 14, 2009

Beefcake

Despite the title of this post, it is not about muscular men without shirts.
It is in fact about a real Beef Cake.
One was presented to me by friends at a previous job on my last day there.
It was actually made of meatloaf, with mashed potatos colored for the 'frosting'.
It was quite delicious.
I've told this story lots of time, but people have a hard time believing it, so here is photographic proof:





I decided to take out some of my pent up frustrations on the cake:








One of the people responsible was Kyle (on the right):





The person primarily responsible, Brandon (on the left):





One of the other responsible parties, Sarah (along with a real cake):


Thursday, April 30, 2009

Amusing things at work

I had two things happen last night that were mildly amusing.

  First, when I was working up in Alpine, a very affluent community in north Utah County, I had parked my truck across the street from a house I needed to visit. Usually, I leave the truck running on stops because I am only out of the truck for 2-3 minutes, and I feel like the wear on the starting motor caused by using it 30+ times an evening is much worse than just idling for a few minutes.

  As I was approaching the door of the house, two guys were walking down the street on the other side, next to my truck. One of them called out to me "Hey! I'm going to steal your truck because you left it running! That makes it legal, right?" I responded "If you want to take your chances, go ahead!" (I left off the other part that went through my mind: "If you think you can outrun a bullet...") He called back "You shouldn't trust a guy walking down the street with a gallon of liquor!" while holding up his gallon jug of what looked like water.

  I turned around to face them so they could see my uniform and replied "You shouldn't ever threaten to steal a cop's truck!" I could see both of them turn pale from all the way across the street, and they hurried off without another word.


  The second thing was right at the end of the night, on my last stop.
I pulled up to a house, and again I found myself parking across the street from the house I needed to visit. I noticed some people in the house I had just parked in front of glancing out the window as I got out. Next thing I know there are people in EVERY window watching me. To put it delicately, they appeared to be afraid I was with the border patrol. I had to spend a few minutes across the street talking to the person I had come to reach, and the whole time, up to 10 people would come out on the porch, go out & watch over the fence from the back yard, or peek out between blinds in the windows. They were very afraid.
As I got back in my truck to leave, I briefly considered yelling out "INS! INS!", but even I'm not that big of a jackass.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

April Snow

Here in Utah, we often get small amounts of snow in April. Usually just enough to stick to the lawns, and it melts within hours.
Here is what I woke up to this morning:
From 4-16-09 Snowstorm

From 4-16-09 Snowstorm


Happy Spring Break!

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

I'm rethinking my whole stance on guns

I've always been someone who has a pretty conservative stance on guns and gun rights.
I'm a firm believer in the second amendment, and in the view that additional gun laws are for the most part not needed for two reasons: 1 - if existing laws were enforced, most current problems with guns in society would be solved and 2 - restrictive gun laws only affect law abiding people. By definition, criminal elements are already violating laws, so telling the guy who is already committing a robbery or murder that he is also breaking the law by carrying a gun will have no effect whatsoever. I mean, no one is going to go "Let's see. I'm going to rob Goliath National Bank today, but oh wait! That new gun law makes it illegal for me to take my gun. I'll just take the knife instead. Whew! Glad I remembered that!"

However, I also find myself astounded by some aspects of Utah's Concealed Firearms permit.

First, I absolutely disagree with the practice of issuing permits to non-residents that never set foot in the state. Utah's permit is more widely recognized than any other state permit, so it has become the de facto 'national' permit since the average citizen cannot get a federal permit.
However, the current law allows an out of state instructor to sign off on the certification, allowing people who have never been to Utah and have no plans to come to Utah to have a permit issued by the State of Utah. This uses up resources paid for by the taxpayers of Utah, and allows some less than scrupulous instructors to get away with rubber stamping applications instead of ensuring that the applicants have a thorough understanding of Utah law regarding firearms & the ability to handle weapons properly.

Secondly, I would like to see Utah set some standardized curriculum and weapons qualification criteria. Under the current law, the instruction an applicant receives is entirely dictated by the instructor, and the quality of the education varies greatly.

The need for these changes is strongly illustrated by not just one, but two recent incidents where a concealed firearms permit holder accidentally discharged a firearm in a restaurant here in Utah.

In the first incident, the permit holder was using the restroom at a Carl's Jr. when his pistol slipped out of the holster and discharged when it hit the floor. The round blew up the toilet he was sitting on, cutting him, but other than that there were no casualties. Except the toilet itself, which Carl's Jr held a funeral for a few days later.
If this idiot had been carrying a proper weapon, this wouldn't have happened. I've been telling anyone who will listen for at least a month that if it had been a SIG or Glock, the accidental discharge couldn't have happened. Those guns have a firing pin intercept that will not allow the firing pin to contact the round unless the trigger is actually moved, even if the gun is dropped.

Now, just today, a new idiot was at the Olive Garden in Provo eating lunch when he reached down to 'adjust something' on his gun, and it discharged. In this case, the gun in question was actually a SIG, and appears to be a SIG P228. I have intimate knowledge of the inner workings of a SIG P228, and there is NO WAY that it could have discharged without the trigger being pulled. Period. This guy was just a freaking idiot.

I am finding myself in favor of enhanced training for people who desire the privilege of carrying a firearm concealed in public. The current standards are too low.

My suggestions:
- Standardized training curricula and qualification. Instructors should be teaching from a state produced manual, and should extensively cover safety procedures, safe behaviors, and proficiency tests.
- Expanded curricula. Currently, instructors are required to give four hours of instruction. It doesn't say what needs to be instructed. I think that the minimum should follow along the lines of the Hunter Safety program which if I remember correctly runs closer to 16 hours of classroom instruction. That should be the bare minimum. It should not be more difficult to get a big game hunting license than a concealed firearms permit. (It is currently much more difficult to get a big game hunting license than a concealed firearms permit)
- In State Certification. I believe that if someone wants to take an approved course out of state, fine. But I think that applicants should be required to travel to Utah to take both written and practical tests.
- Enhanced fees for out of state applicants. The state currently subsidizes these permits, meaning that the fees charged don't cover all the costs associated with the program. I feel that this is okay for residents who are paying taxes, but I think that out of state applicants should be charged fees representative of the actual costs to the state. We already do this with hunting & fishing licenses, school tuition, and other benefits. This is a no brainer.

These suggestions may not have prevented the accidental discharges which happened in the last two months, but I do believe that it would pare down the numbers of people who get a permit and just don't take the responsibilities of carrying a loaded gun seriously. That can do nothing but help keep these wing-nuts from doing stupid things - or at the very least make them hear the safety messages a few more times.

Who would have thought that Conservative Ted would have such liberal ideas!

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Two remotes are better than one

From what I understand, one major flashpoint in some marriages is the television remote control.
My wife and I have never really had any fights over it, but I can imagine some people getting worked up over it. Since we almost exclusively watch things we have recorded on our TiVo, our only conflict with it occurs when the person who has the remote in their hand when a commercial break forgets to fast forward in a timely manner.

We inadvertently found a solution to this problem.

We've had our TiVo for almost 4 years, and have had the same remote all this time.
Lately, it has developed a problem where when you press the power button, it sends the command twice; if you wanted to turn the TV on, it will do so, then immediately turn it back off. If you want to turn the TV off, the inverse happens.

I ordered a new remote from TiVo, but some of the buttons have just a bit different functionality, and so the old remote ended up laying around instead of being tossed in the garbage bin.

And then it happened - one night, while watching a show, Amy had the new remote in her hand, and had forgotten to start fast forwarding the commercials. I grabbed the old remote off our end table and began to fast forward myself. Amy jumped, realizing that she had the remote in her hand, and yet the TV had begun fast forwarding seemingly on its own. Then she realized I had the old remote, and we have had television watching bliss ever since. (Except when I am watching "How its Made" or "Mythbusters". She hates those shows...)

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Inaccessable :(

While I am very happy to have a new job, and I like what I'm doing and the people I work with, I am somewhat less thrilled with one of GE's policies: I can no longer access personal e-mail and chat at work.

My New York JP Morgan colleagues can sympathize, because they are in the same situation, at least with e-mail. GMail is totally blocked, as are the other webmail services.

Since I don't have GE e-mail access yet, it looks like if you want to reach me during the day, you will have to call me. I still check

I hope to have other options available next week.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

The New Job

You are now reading the blog of a Test Engineer for GE Healthcare & Intermountain Healthcare.
I accepted a position with GE/IHC today, and tomorrow morning I will be working directly at the new IHC Medical Center in Murray. This is fantastic news, but it has been very stressful for me because I had already accepted a job offer from Sorenson Communications and was scheduled to start work for them on Monday.

So I've just had to make a couple of tough phone calls, to my recruiter at ConsultNet who got me the job with Sorenson (and did a fantastic job of getting me a job quickly), and then to the manager at Sorenson who had hired me. But I couldn't turn down a job offer for 20% more pay than I would be making at Sorenson.

Thus ends Ted's whiney job search saga.

I now return you to your regularly scheduled mindless drivel...