Clarity in communication

Today in a meeting at work, one participant asked another to 'treat him like a 4 year old' when giving instructions so that there would be no miscommunication.
It reminded me of an experience I had back in early 2001, while working for a stock-trading software company. We were preparing our software for the change from price quotes coming in fractions of a whole dollar to decimal prices. At the time, stocks were quoted in fractions as small as 1/16th. So for example, on February 16th 2001 the stock for Intel closed at 33 & 3/8. This change required significant changes in our software, and required us to convert the historical data from fractions to decimal. (So that Intel will now show as closing at 33.375 on 2/16/01)

Our company created a tool to do this conversion on the historical data, but in testing, we found that in some cases it destroyed the file for an individual stock. We had a meeting with a group of engineers & managers to discuss the issue, and in the meeting the company president (who was the primary author of the tool) asked what the issue was. My response was an ill considered statement: "It nukes random historical files."

The president almost came out of his seat as he leaned forward, pounded his fists on the table & asked "Ted, what in the hell does 'nuke' mean? What exactly is the symptom of a 'nuked' file? Translate that into something useful to me!"

I don't know how I managed to not throw up, but I managed to evenly and immediately reply "It reduces the file size of the affected files to exactly 26 bytes with the same pattern of unrecognizable data within the file."

The president leaned back in his chair, looking me over for a minute, then he pronounced to the rest of the assembled group of engineers & managers "Now THATS what I needed. Now we all know that to 'nuke' a file means to reduce the file size to 26 bytes of unrecognizable data!"

Now in engineering meetings I try to be a little more eloquent and less flippant with my remarks, especially if high ranking persons are present.

The state of current music

  A warning. This is my VERY subjective review of four fairly new albums. If I criticize one of your favorite bands/albums, know that I really don't care. I really don't.

  One of the things which has always driven me nuts about the music industry is the low good song to crap song ratio on the vast majority of studio albums. Admit it, you have a bunch of CD's laying around that have one or two good songs along with 10 or 12 mediocre at best and awful at worst songs. For every single "The Cure: Disintegration" or "Matchbox Twenty: Yourself or Someone Like You" which can nearly be listened to end to end, you have a bunch of "311: Transistor" or Franz Ferdinand's self titled album, with one good song in the bunch. (I know that I just offended a bunch of skaters who would never speak negatively of 311, but you know what? It's my opinion, so take another hit and chill out!) I'm not even holding shots here. Come on, Foo Fighters, can you seriously say that "There Is Nothing Left To Lose" was a great album end to end?

  I have noticed a trend in more recent years to a higher good to crap ratio on albums, which I have attributed to Napster and it's largest beneficiary, iTunes.
See, if it had not been for Napster and the ability of people to share just the good songs with each other for free (bypassing the album altogether unless it was a very good album), the record companies would have never allowed iTunes and it's a-la-carte format.

  I have obtained four new albums over the last few days, and have sadly been more disappointed than pleased. First offender was "Muse: The Resistance". The first single, "The Uprising" is very well done, with a good hook & great pace. The only other Muse song I've really been exposed to was "Starlight", which was okay.
Unfortunately, for me, the rest of the album falls into the mediocre at best category.

  Next up, "Kings of Leon: Only By The Night". These guys are getting a lot of buzz for good reason. While the singles "Use Somebody" and "Sex on Fire" are the clear cream of the crop, the rest of the album is listenable. For a bunch of young guys, they have managed to sound like a much more mature band. If they don't let the fame go to their heads, they just might be a powerhouse for the long run.

  Following a good showing by Kings, I was let down a little by "Owl City: Ocean", right up until I realized that I really didn't have any expectations for this album and got it on a whim because the pop hit "Fireflies" is so damn catchy. There were a couple of other okay songs on this album, but it falls off quickly after that. Not one I can listen to end to end.

  The surprise for me has been "30 Seconds to Mars: This is War". I'm only halfway through it, and have been pleasantly surprised. The single "Kings and Queens" is the best of the first half, but I haven't been tempted to skip anything so far.* I really expected less out of an emo actor and his band. If you like the single, you will probably like this album.
*Edit: I didn't care for song #8 'Vox Populi', really disliked #11 'Stranger in a Strange Land', & stopped liking #12 'L490' when it started doing a weird chant at the end.

  The verdict being that I still believe that the ratio of good songs to bad songs on albums is higher than the pre-Napster era, but definitely think in a buyer-beware mindset and take the time to go listen to the samples of an album on iTunes or Amazon.com.

Goodbye, facial hair

   I've never worn much in the way of facial hair. Usually whatever I've grown itches too much after just a couple of weeks, and I end up shaving it. Not to mention that for the last 5 years I've had church callings which mandated a clean shaven face. So until recently the most growth I've had has been 2 weeks.

   Last year I started a new job working for Intermountain Healthcare & GE Healthcare. On my fourth day there, they celebrated the 2nd annual Mustache Appreciation Day. They took it so seriously that one woman actually used some of her own hair which she had cut to make a mustache. I felt totally naked. I resolved to have a proper mustache for the next one.

  I started growing my goatee in the first part of December. I thought that two months would be more than enough time to grow a bushy mustache, although I refused to wear it as a mustache until the day of the contest at work. I chose to wear it as a goatee instead, with the idea of shaving it into a mustache on the day of the competition.
  The person making the biggest sacrifice has been my sweetheart. She hates facial hair. However, she is so sweet that she has put up with it for almost two months.

  Just yesterday, the gentleman responsible for the contest came to inform us that it was being canceled due to lack of participation. The day is only a week away, and there were only about 5 of us left that had not shaved clean. As such, I resolved to shave as soon as possible. I am more than tired of stray hairs making it into my mouth or worse, tickling my nose. Best of all, my hot wife will now kiss me again!

  So watch out world - my ugly mug is now laid bare again: